Why You Should Stop Complaining and Own Your Shit

When life got busy with kids, aging parents, and work, I found myself starting to complain a lot; sometimes in my head, sometimes out loud.  I’m self-aware and  knew this wasn’t the real me.

What was I trying to get from complaining? Did I want to get it off my chest? Did I want some else to fix it for me? Whatever it was it wasn’t working.

I got frustrated looking for someone to validate how difficult things were, how hard it was to focus on my health,  or how busy life was.  In truth, complaining got me down, bitter and hopeless.

I want to say there was a magical ah-ha moment but there wasn’t – It was me slowly recognizing that I owned this feeling.

Owning My Shit

There was no way I was going to turn into a complainer, and I definitely didn’t want to be bitter (Secret: my biggest fear is a being an old bitter woman full of regrets).  Then I started to pay attention- I would hold back a complaint, I would take action, I would do the things I needed or wanted and say no to everything else. There were the things out of my control that I had to let go of, as difficult as that was. 

In this game of life we need to take ownership and that includes owning the shit in our lives.  We must not leave it to the fairy godmother to wave her magic wand.

Shifting My Mindset and Worrying Less

When I complained less and owned more, my mindset shifted – I started to focus on the good stuff.  The feeling of not having to worry about all that small shit or trying to fix everything was amazing! Even in of the toughest of times, focusing on the good and paying less attention to the what’s out of my control was a new found freedom .  So what did I focus on?


I loved myself, I nourished myself and I empowered myself.  I got the mental and physical energy I needed to be my best. Then, I was able to focus on my priorities: my family, my garden, learning, inspiring and having fun.

And it’s not like I don’t complain ever, but it flows in and out of me, with very little impact.

My advice?

Be accountable.  Stop complaining and take action. You will thank yourself.  You will love your life.


Let’s get real: What are 2 aspects of your life right now that you’re complaining about and need to take action on? Share your shit below!

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